UFO Lands, Without Clearance, Thursday, June 7th at O’Hare International Airport!
UFO landings simply don’t happen in airspace tightly controlled by post 9/11 regulations, but that didn’t stop a green-glowing UFO from doing just that last Thursday afternoon. As it sat there motionless on the ground for hours, it naturally attracted the attention of the authorities. When the UFO was found to be emitting heat, ionizing radiation was suspected, bringing Homeland Security rushing to the scene, including nuclear technicians in lead-lined protective suits and carrying Geiger counters, plus heavily armed agents of the DOE (Department of Energy). No ionizing radiation was found. The UFO was under continuous surveillance , with no one observed either entering or leaving, before it was “gift wrapped” and loaded for a long ride on a Diamond T towed lowboy trailer, in a convoy with no less than eight NRC cars. Before It’s News broke the story, with some amazing pictures (source unknown) of the UFO convoy pulled off the road and cordoned by security. What the site doesn’t say is that the curious at the I-57 truck stop soon found themselves looking at the wrong ends of Mini Uzis and H&K MP5Ks! These appeared, as if by magic, from under the jackets of the NRC agents.
UFO, Where DID You Go?
The O’Hare UFO went on a long trip, watched and reported on by many, something believed unique in the annals of UFO retrievals, ever wending its way to the Nevada Test Site, specifically Area 51’s S4. There, the “fun” began in earnest. Initial reports indicated the UFO was teardrop shaped, leading the ETs/EDs (extraterrestrials/ extradimensionals) of the Liberation Forces to think it was an unarmed Reptoid scout craft, probably there to evacuate some important Reptoid personage disguised as a human. Later insider reports indicated, though, that it was similar to Bob Lazar’s “Sport Model.” Inquiries from the ETs/EDs regarding markings revealed them to consist of an inverted “V” sitting on a rocker, with a set on both sides of the UFO. According to the ETs/EDs, these were Reptoid marking of the Bak’hla or Mak’hla Clan, one of the main clans here on Earth, and associated with the Freemasons! This put matters in an entirely new light, for opening the craft could present any number of scenarios, ranging from annoying to devastating. Multiple advice, both terrestrial and from the ETs/EDs, was passed along, ranging from biohazard issues, to military matters of an extreme nature (Reptoids average 9-12′ tall, weigh 500-700+ lbs, and have the strength of 6-12 men) and special issues, such as the need to prevent the personnel opening the UFO from being psionically taken over. But first, they had to get into it.
UFOs Don’t Come With Keys!
There are three main ways to get into a sealed UFO: running a gloved hand down both sides of the craft’s fuselage (to trigger a pressure panel), using a special tone generator, rather like a garage door opener, or a frequency sweep generator. When these failed, brute force methods reportedly came into play. Microscopic examination of the hull eventually located the hairline which indicated where the UFO’s hatch was. From there, it was hard, hard work to drive a wedge in far enough to spring the hatch. When it popped open, a very hot reception was waiting for any occupants, but the craft was empty and had the same tiny seats Bob Lazar reported seeing on the craft he worked on. Not much fun for a big Reptoid or even a human! The craft was subjected to a thorough search for bombs and booby traps of every sort, with none found, and underwent comprehensive decontamination procedures as well. According to sensitive insider reports, the craft was powered by the same sort of reactor Bob Lazar described encountering on the Sport Model. An “island of stability” element, such as 115, when placed in the UFO’s reactor, generated electric power for ship’s systems and antigravity propulsion. The ETs/EDs were surprised at the nature of the craft, given the Reptoids use fission, but said it could’ve been seized on a conquered planet or built from captured plans. In any event, no vessel of the Liberation Forces was missing! The last word on the Reptoid UFO was that it was going to be dismantled for reverse engineering of its technology.